“saved”
So I thought it was all in the bag. We were flat broke and scraping change together to get eggs, but that was okay. The presents were wrapped and under the tree, the stocking stuffers waiting in my room for Yuletide Eve. Then Solstice came, and we had our tradition of opening one gift each (the kids, anyway).
Mekare and Anna each opened theirs- then we looked for Arielle’s.
It suddenly occurred to me that the pile of gifts under the tree had significantly shrunk.
We searched everywhere. Arielle’s presents were nowhere to be found. We have no idea what happened. All I can figure is, the last time I saw them was when Arielle last had company, but I can’t be sure. And the girls kept forgetting to lock the front door.
Arielle had a white elephant party last night. I took all the presents downstairs.
My dad, my sister, and Matt’s boss came to the rescue. We were able to get her some replacement gifts.
Arielle didn’t show much emotion but mild disappointment, but then, that kid has been though a lot. She was elated when my sister sent her a gift card, and when we told her she wouldn’t go without on Yule. But I could still see she was a bit disturbed.
I’m a bit more disturbed.
I already have issues with the holidays being so commercialized and materialistic that one feels inadequate if they can’t keep up with the Joneses (and what THEY can get for THEIR kids). I already have issues trusting people, because the second I let down my guard, there are always people waiting to say and do any nasty thing they can for no reason other than to amuse themselves.
But my home has always been sacred ground.
Not so much anymore.
When we moved in, my landlady didn’t want to put modern locks on the doors. I wonder if she’ll change her mind now.
For the kids, the holiday is saved. We’ll have our hot chocolate with candy canes and whipped cream tonight, our gifts and stockings in the morning, and eat our ham and sweet potato casserole while we’re wrapped in blankets watching the reflection of our candle lights flicker in the snow.
But I feel so ready to quit with the gifts. The gifts are all most people seem to see. They can talk about the Baby Jesus or the rebirth of the sun or whatever they believe in, but when it comes down to it, most people are just greedy, fearful, grabby things that I do not trust.
If it weren’t for my family and close friends, I think I’d go nuts.
It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t feel like, even though the door is now bolted and our neighbors are alert, that everything has been thrown wide open and anyone who wants can just waltz in, take whatever they want, and violate my sacred space.
December 24 2009 10:08 am | culture and kids and life and mental health and photography and utah
December 24th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
That just sucks – but I’m glad her day was saved through the generosity of others.
December 24th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
I have been recently chastized for my somewhat ‘cool’ attitude toward the “Holiday Season” for most of the same reasons that you state here. It is nice to know that I am not the only one that thinks this way. While the concept of the Holidays is nice and I have many fond memories, I am a bit depressed about the expectations and commercialization of the whole thing. We are encouraged to go into debt this time of year to help out the national economy. WTF?
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December 26th, 2009 at 8:22 am
I did some last minute shopping on Christmas Eve at WalMart and everywhere people were just arguing and swearing. I had a great Christmas, but in public I didn’t witness much of ye olde Christmas spirit. What I missed the most was that there was no candlelight at our church’s Christmas Eve service. I asked if it was due to liability issues and they denied it, but what else could it be? That was always my favorite Christmas tradition.
December 27th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Oh, that’s so sad. I’m sorry that happened. It certainly doesn’t make it easy to trust people when you’ve been robbed.